Jan

Don't forget her... She's still fighting.

2011-06-06T13:26:00.002+08:00

Nothing

2011-05-12T20:01:00.000+08:00

Tough month. Just in a span of days, my world changed. I am weak, I know.

I couldn't care less about politics, really. What I care about is the attitude portrayed and the treatment received whether by leaders or citizens. Same for church, company, family or any social unit. It's emotional selling, yes but it moves people.

Grandma fell and broke her hip, got operated on, and now cancer relapsed after a decade. A colleague's dad dropped dead just 30 minutes before she reached home last night. Pat's grandpa slipped into coma and beyond rather quickly. My dad has small issues here and there but none as terminal as his stubborn streak and it's hereditary too. Dang.

Such a feeling coming over me... There is insecurity in everything I see. It makes me wonder about the emotional and financial support as I age and what I'd do when it comes to the crunch. As little trouble for others as possible. Gonna start writing my will.

I am aware how easily forgotten I can be to some people... I just didn't expect to experience it to the degree of insult. "我到底是有多透明啊?" I exclaimed. And then I shut my gap. Maybe there's a lesson for me here. Another sees me as a fool and took me for a ride. Ah, another lesson. Another forgot how my hand was readily available when company and counsel was needed, and now views me more like a competitor. Pragmatism rules.

Maybe I ain't weak, I'm just pure foolish.

O life, you make me play by your rules and you make me shudder. You carry on without asking if I want to. I know how lonely you can be and maybe that explains your sadism. Just be fair, or should I say fairer? I am so wasting my breath.

Wth

2011-02-18T21:42:00.007+08:00

It's been an downright emotional week. (No, not because I don't get much from Budget and Toto, or the death of Narnia's ED.) Of all people, I have to "provoke" a female with mere few words. Sometimes I wonder if how I felt is how men would normally feel. My deepest sympathy to you men... I know how oversensitive women can be. Sometimes I hate being one.

That unnecessary confrontation near midnight and the subsequent staring at Ks' photos led to a breakdown. I held my tongue for all the things I want to say and even attempted to appease her like the way her boyfriend/husband would, as if it's my big boo-boo.

And there are some other stuff... I can't say much on MY blog and MY FB. Silently screaming. Dear God, this is so tough. I feel like someone died. I think it's me.

K's Accessory

2011-01-16T13:21:00.013+08:00

Spent very little time babysitting K today but am still happy. It's actually the highlight of my week. As you already know, I'm bored stiff with life.

Here we are in the queue for registration at Children's Church:

CC worker: Hi, are you a teacher here?
Me: Uhm, no... I'm her accessory. *pointing to K and tag*
CC worker: *smiles* Oh, okie...

I forgot to ask why she asked me that in the first place.

K is rather stoned today. There is no hop, skip and jump, no asking for food or toilet, just leaning close for support. Me too, I didn't even ask her to call me Yiyi. Guess it's cool or I'll have trouble catching up with her usual energy level.

Back to ~~hell~~ life.

11.1.11

2011-01-11T21:11:00.005+08:00

What a day to talk about the work that I do. Most of it are charity, really.

Part confession time: I sacked one of my bosses - the ~~melodramatic tyrannic~~ one whom I freelance for since I quit officially in 2007. Yes, and I seem to be addicted to her or the work she does so much so that I can't say no to until today. An increment of $50 is what she attempted to make me stay and that makes me feel even more insulted I brought forward the last day from end Mar to end Feb. My emails are of course nice and my resignation is accepted. A webmistress and email publicity machine no more. Freedom.

Pros and cons: Because of that and another piece of news that's equally significant received today, I am a step closer to focus on doing the real work. I also just received another offer to work for a friend but I really cannot phantom myself going back to being employed. I miss the loafing days, medical benefits, taking MCs, stable income. As a self-employed, I also love to loaf and still get paid, go massage and shopping while everybody else are stuck at work, and on the streets tell every financial adviser which insurer I represent and every bank officer that I don't qualify to take on their credit cards. Grins.

Passion !=Fulfilling: I only earn enough, really. Nothing to pay for any wedding, house or items on my wish list. Half of the consultative work that I do is not remunerated. I service some for free. I worked hard in my first two years, am still convicted in what I do, but because of distractions here and there, I give myself reasons to slack. I still preach money management and risk management, but I also admit I am stuck in my comfort zone.

Judgment: I still believe that people ought to be slapped out of their reality that their insurance is either too much - unnecessary or expensive. Sure, too much money. Unfortunately people prefer to learn it the hard way either from their personal experiences or from people close to them. I am a very good example. At the same time, I also know that people hate to be sold to and, believe that some things cannot be forced so I should just move on (to the next person or the next industry). No offense but I also cringe when people tell me having children is affordable and insurance not. What a disfavor they do to their little ones. Life. It's really about perception. Your brain doesn't know a reality except what you tell it. That is your reality.

What I love to do: Ambassador-flavored, charity-linked, education-focused. Improve living conditions in third world countries, give children their rightful education, fund TED, inspire people, work like Bill & Melinda Gates and Tim Ferriss and on the other hand, teach ~~idiotic Singaporeans~~ urbanites how to manage life and clutter. And how do I do that without earning lots of moohlahs? Frustration infinity.

Too idealistic: So my reality at current is depressing and my faith very challenged. I am getting myself to face it piece by piece. Maybe by nano fractions. So that I can find myself somewhere closer to what I want to do and stop thinking about ending it all.

2010

2011-01-02T19:15:00.003+08:00

I gives thanks for 2010 as it marks the year that I traveled more than I usually would - Malaysia, Hong Kong, Macau, and a little corner of China; I get a revamped sleeping corner that's supposedly better for my neck and back; and I gradually suffer less knee pain that was initially caused by an overdose of salads (we suspect).

Spending more time with friends and Ks bring sweet memories and I guess I'll do that more often this year.

What would make a great 2011 start for me? The start wasn't nice, but well. Life goes on.

It would make this second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year, life if I have my own place in the area that I want. Not in the outskirts, please.

I want to move out. I am tired of being treated like a tenant. My bro gets the license to have a whole room and never lack storage space because he leaves his mess everywhere. I, on the other hand, has to share my airwaves and living space with someone I cannot stand. I am a fairly neat and organized person but with such constraint and difference in treatment, you have to forgive my frustration and attitude.

I am darn silly when I asked to develop a part of the living area into storage cabinet/shelves so that everyone can utilize it. There's soooooo much space outside anyway. But it was shot down. So, forget it. Bear with my mess. I couldn't care less.

Worse, don't bet a dollar that I am going for resale unless a blessing from heaven comes raining down. So, that means I'll have to wait 3 years for it to be ready. I am so optimistic and full of joy hor?

So back to earth, I resort to getting rid of clutter that eats my miserable 100 sq ft space I occupy. I am near claustrophobic and love adequate space. Especially privacy. I counted I own more books and CDs than clothes. If I ever need to shift one day, I'll need a strong moving party.

Next: Decide if I want to switch career. Learn driving. Maintain my health vitals. Get rid of 5 kilos of mere weight, fat, whatever you may call it. I am tired of people calling me slim when I am not. Hahaha~ I am only good at using specific types of fashion to flaunt strengths and hide weaknesses. (I want to sell this service of mine leh...)

I am not sure if I really want to get on with His or his programme. I want to rock the boat. Yet I am afraid. What the. Actually, what's there to lose huh?

To be continued

2010-12-29T02:05:00.003+08:00

Thinking about Narnia, my future with him, my 2011... Thinking about CW's question: What would make a great 2011 start for me... The answer is scary -- I don't know.

Do not comment. Construction in progress.

The aftermath

2010-12-28T22:42:00.013+08:00

This is just one thing that bothers me but it's tough talking about this.

The not-to-buy-for-CW-and-Jing-can-testify list I received lately exhausted all items that you could possibly buy a man less those that wifey reserves the right to buy. I rolled my eyeballs and derive at the conclusion that CW's friends can only buy him one thing -- nothing. It may well be the same conclusion you will draw about me at the end of this entry.

While gifts should be freely and gladly received, I have trouble handling them after doing my squeal-like-a-child-while-unwrapping-gifts act. I suffer from this syndrome every Sep and Dec. First thing comes to mind -- I want to give them away. Maybe I ought to be shot but I am the declutter queen leh. Help to keep my life simple, can?

Gift-giving is an act of love yes, but sometimes it kinda gets obligatory making the fun and excitement leak. Like the way some wedding banquets and birthday celebrations are. Is it just me or am I missing something here?

I kinda think that either friends don't know me well enough or I am just too stubborn to accept new things/styles. *doubts self again* But I feel styles are pretty much fixed... If the item doesn't say my name, it's unlikely gonna be mine.

The irony is I for one, loves to buy gifts for people closer to me. I hardly have to search for suitable gifts, they just come to me... A gift I have perhaps? Hope I'm hardly wrong but please do tell if I am. Yet to fulfill one of my dream careers -- a personal shopper. I get paid to spend other people's money! Guess not here on this island bustling with shopaholics.

My list bears resemblance to CW's... Ha, fashion and books. Nothing against anyone really, but I wish never to receive gifts that I don't need ever. I need Apple products, supplementary credit cards, Singapore Dollars, real estate properties, and your time & patience for me. *grins*

Dearly yours,
Pragmatic Minimalist

Of sniggers and laughter

2010-12-14T19:55:00.004+08:00

Besides Ks, is it any wonder why I love her and her?

Shhhhhhh...

2010-11-18T20:56:00.007+08:00

Pardon my web silence.
It is not planned that I should blog only once a month.
I regret that I have gradually become, over time and age, more of a private person than I ought to be.
Spent these few weeks doing these: trash, think, rest, read, re-org, make Christmas cards.
Tis the season and reason to be jolly again.
O joy.
I can't tell you how happy I am.
I type a shit load of self negating trash you may never understand, and then only to find myself repeatedly press the backspace button.
I am the 100% culprit of my life anyway.
Who am I to blame?
*zips*

http://borninseptember.org/

2010-10-21T23:54:00.003+08:00

This site came to me a tad too late... I believe my birthday changed the world, but will change it more next year on. September babies, join me!

Three. Today.

2010-09-11T23:22:00.001+08:00

She calls me Yiyi Janice within a few minutes I stepped into the house.
It's been a long time since she's been so warm to me.
I heard her tummy ain't feeling that well after just recovering from a flu bug and doesn't feel like eating, but she wants you tiao after seeing me munch on them.
I fed her and she ate two.
Gradually she started asking for more food and that makes her parents very happy.
She sat next to me and watched TV.
She felt sleepy, snuggled near... sucking her left thumb and playing with her blanket... dwindling my clanking necklace asking why I wear it.
It's all so heartwarming to have her this close and I just can't stop watching her.
She turns 3 today.
I whisper in her ears and asked if she's happy today, she nods her head.

Am really thankful that her parents allow me to be a part of her growing up really and that our relationships aren't strange.
This is the closest that I'll probably ever feel like a mom.
I know my gifts aren't exciting... Just wanna provide warmth and let the girls wear my love on and around them.

She made/drew me a birthday card.
See, I don't need birthday gifts.

She bear hugged me bidding me farewell.
Such loving gestures from her is enough to melt my heart.

It's only a dream

2010-09-02T21:15:00.001+08:00

The month of August blasted past like a blur - I have had personal breakthroughs in my business but at the same time having a huge sense of abandonment coming over me... And somehow after watching Inception, I start to think that the world I live in is unreal. 人生真的是无止境的做梦吗？

Someone once said, "Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony." Some that I have I want not, and some that I have not I want. I guess the common life itself always reminds me that I am not congruent and thus not happy. Need a kick.

Back to what I love

2010-08-15T21:41:00.002+08:00

Yoga. Every Saturday morning.

In pain

2010-07-08T07:13:00.005+08:00

From the Tetanus jab and more.

Total loss:
A favorite bright cobalt knit wear from Joop $59.
Punctured wound on my right arm $121.
Love of my parents Priceless.

That undeserving darn eunuch dog won even when he's in the wrong.
Renders me a fool.
I think not ALL dogs go to heaven.

Time Off

2010-05-11T08:12:00.003+08:00

Bangkok. Buddies and I along with loved ones were supposed to be there for a business congress. We chose Penang as an alternative thereby biding farewell to my $370 paid congress fee in case we get involved unnecessarily just because we choose to wear a wrong color a certain day.

Tiger Airways. First time on this budget airline. No complaints except that the bullet speed announcements over the air could be much clearer.

Gurney Hotel. Quite beyond our expectations given the price we pay. Four bedrooms in two reasonably large suites overlooking the sea is a luxury. The auto rental company played us out but we managed to secure a cheaper and better vehicle via the concierge -- a 14-seater van to move 10 of us around comfortably to and fro George Town, Batu Ferringi and other parts of town. God saved my knee from hurting further, at least for the trip.

Penang Hill. We took a 4x4 jeep up the steep slopes for scenic views and shots, and then a buggy drove us further up to check out the private bungalows that costs RM 4-5 billion. Very quaint.

小娘惹. The second day highlight is paying a visit to he Pinang Peranakan Mansion! Photos here and still adding...

Fat. My travel companions live to eat -- We ventured into the street stalls for char kway teow, asam laksa, curry noodle, ice kachang, chendol... Along the coast for seafood... Up the hill plantation for durian and other tropical fruits. Eating non-stop! Burps. I honestly don't enjoy the indulgence but only to be a sport. I miss my salads, really.

初恋红豆冰. We caught movies there for 6RM in our tees and shorts, woohoo! No super cold theatres. The malls are more or less the same so there's nothing much to shop for. We were so looking forward to tailor make our suits and shop till we drop in Bangkok. Oh well, next year perhaps.

Next stop. Macau and Hong Kong on Jet Star!

Pain

2010-05-04T17:36:00.005+08:00

This is just another flair of my stubbornness. Knee pain and it actually takes a simple visit to my GP to fix it. I had to wait for a month.

Now on anti-inflammatory drugs and banned from walking literally. Ugh. Trouble is, tomorrow I'm flying to Penang and losta work awaits when I return. Not in the best of mood these recent weeks.

So pray for me.

Love Life

2010-04-16T19:35:00.002+08:00

http://ilovelife.com.tw

Underland

2010-04-11T21:43:00.008+08:00

"You're mad, bonkers... but I'll tell you a secret – all the best people are."

While I know I ain't living down there in the rabbit hole, I would like to be Alice and tell myself daily that "It's just a dream... Nothing can hurt me."

The movie's quirky, warped -- the typical Tim Burton style. Yet a brilliant story and I love it.

The reality is the true Underland is in the mind. I know I am a champion too... but is there a potion out there called COURAGE? Tell me I'm bonkers.

It pours

2010-03-30T18:29:00.004+08:00

If I wanna judge and complain about life and people and myself, I can.
But I guess not... 'cos it doesn't help.
Furthermore, there's just too many things to say, ha.
God is still good!

Support Earth Hour

2010-03-23T08:35:00.002+08:00

Will you?

2010

2010-01-30T23:49:00.007+08:00

It's been a month of changes for me thus far and I believe it's gonna be an awesome year...
Fell sick for a week (darn) but thankfully I got better before the month is over.
Led a soul to Christ (again after nine years) and I'm eternally grateful.
Giving Bible Study (again after four years).
Beginning to accept Panda.
Shed nine pounds.
Acquired new buddies.
A big part of my heart is changing.
It's all good and thank God I'm alive.

The moment is now

2009-12-22T22:51:00.002+08:00

For some there is no tomorrow.

Disappointed.

2009-12-17T00:58:00.000+08:00

好重的挫折感。

I miss her

2009-12-01T11:33:00.000+08:00

It's been a year.

She's the one and only; the first and the last.

In the morning

2009-11-29T01:55:00.001+08:00

Someone's calling... Something's brewing... Will I answer it appropriately?

Awesome Sunday

2009-11-22T21:53:00.004+08:00

Spent almost a day having fun at Marina Barrage, browsing at Borders and shopping at Ion Orchard... Now this is what I call a real Sunday and a real treat after my exam!

40th Day

2009-11-22T00:06:00.004+08:00

This is an assurance to all that I am eating normally. For the record, I had 重庆 steamboat last evening and it's a first.

Today marks the 40th day of my bewildering diet! Rule of replacement -- I just need to take my focus away on why I shouldn't eat this and that, and be happy about the goodness I am putting in my mouth. That reminds me I should start applying the same rule in the other areas of my life.

It works pretty well so far except that I caught the bug a second time since and the cold weather must bear some responsibility. I mean I deal with a nose allergy occasionally but that's not flu nor cold. Wish spring can arrive sooner.

*sings This is the song that doesn't end...*

At the end of the day I actually popped a sample piece of Valrhona dark chocolate and I must consider that a reward for myself ;P And by the way, my face may look small but not exactly round because I do have a chin, you know?

We. 三缺一.

2009-11-18T00:01:00.001+08:00

These are the three women who make my life a little crazier and easier in my sprouting years of the business... In us, you see a mini society. They are the testament of my patience. There were four of us, now we're gonna survive with one less. For the better of this sisterhood it bloody better be.

Here's a farewell slide show she made... for us who ran side by side in the field.

P.S: You bloody better succeed in your passionate pursuit, Panda Chef!

Make a difference today

2009-11-16T13:50:00.005+08:00

Most of us in Singapore have little to worry in terms of the basic necessities of life. Not so in other parts of the world.

Provide food, clean water, clothing, education and medical help for a child who really needs it. Show a needy child you care.

Do something today.

Pissed. Overdue.

2009-11-14T22:43:00.006+08:00

Honestly, it's ok if you do not understand my plight but please avoid talking to me like you do and as if your advice rules.
If you don't understand, you don't.
Don't try to put your feet in my shoes and I won't try to put mine in yours.

Family day

2009-11-11T16:42:00.005+08:00

I think I'm suffering from post-exam fatigue and perhaps from the lack of carbohydrates... but no, I'm not complaining. I just need to rest and set off again!

Took a break to lunch at Tokei at the Forum Shopping Mall with the Yees, 2Ks and Raine -- good company and food, what more can I say...

I fancy the gindara and fresh veggies and mushroom in my hot pot, and I'll remember that the green tea comes in powder form instead of bags plus the lumpy but powerful wasabi. The staff showed kind service in spite of us occupying quite a lot of space, including stroller space for Kayla and running space for Kristen ;P

The trip would not be complete without stepping into Toys"r"us... I've probably been in the store less than thrice my entire life and I'm pretty amazed by the range of toys available. All are tired, but happy I hope.

Oh, Kristen neither hugged nor kissed 姨姨 today! *sulks*

By His grace

2009-11-08T19:17:00.002+08:00

Having two D-Days falling in the same week is... indescribably.

Thankfully, Doc & I are rather satisfied with progress through efforts from diet change and test results from the research. I am being referred to a dermatologist before we explore more scary possibilities of causes -- I squirmed while hearing about them and feel rather anxious after much assurance.

Exam's finally over and I've tried my best... I want to pass and move on. Grace, grace!

Detox continues because the 3 weeks makes a great deal of difference and because life goes on... 2010, here I come!

Cut to de-stress

2009-11-07T10:21:00.011+08:00

Check out more salads I made here...

Additional ingredients explored: baby carrots, bananas, blueberries, hard-boiled egg, tofu, sweet corn, walnuts, chick peas, peppers, tuna... For the record, I slice lettuce like I would to fish... I'm amused by myself 'cos I'm supposed to chop!

No more baking as it does little benefit to people who gets to eat them, including myself. Perhaps only for special occasions.

Going into the kitchen to make stuff so healthful and colorful does start my days on a happy note!

It's gonna be alright!?!

2009-11-05T10:37:00.004+08:00

Business. 3 weeks more to end of financial year.

Blood. I hate going through the tests and medical checkup, and everything has to happen this week... and I still volunteered to participate in a research programme. I guess that's the only way I can ever give back to my doctor.

Exam. I've not optimistic about this Sunday by my reading progress, but will try nevertheless.

Face. I need a new one. 3 weeks of no fast food, detox and being hungry half the time isn't helping. I guess a little goes a long way... Maybe I should see the famous Dr Georgia Lee and spend $400/month for that. No, not unless I'm out of my sanity. But I do need help.

-- Verbal vomit via iPhone, will update proper when time permits.

Buck the Odds

2009-10-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

View photos of my Night's Out at the Singapore Turf Club!

Go Green

2009-10-29T10:19:00.007+08:00

My body protested after much deprivation of the usual intake of carbohydrates and fats, and caught a cold because of the erratic weather. I had to take cold baths at night because the heat's killing me!

Something odd about this year: I lost 4 kilos due to gastric in April and then put everything back on plus 2 in August, and I perpetually have pimples on my face. *sulks* Unfortunately I'm not going through puberty a second time but on the contrary, age is really catching up. I'm not happy, Doc's not happy, so something's gotta change.

Besides the usual fruits and veggies, I take more white meat and complex carbohydrates. I do find myself craving less.

I actually do enjoy shopping for ingredients and creating varieties. Here's my newly concocted colorful pasta salad... Awfully proud of myself!

While my insides (and my face) are turning green, the good news for me is 2 kilos are off the scales. After 10 days. Go green with me?

Salad Mania

2009-10-18T22:54:00.009+08:00

Recently I'm a little crazy about vegs and fruits, greens and reds... Mix and match lettuce, capsicum, cucumbers, tomatoes, olives, apples, strawberries, sunflower seeds, with Italian dressing or mustard. Yum. But oh, that makes me hungry half the time!

When time is short, I dig into Subway's Oven Baked Chicken Breast Salad (left) and otherwise, it's up to my liking (right) using the stuff I buy from the mart over the weekend. See how long I'll last!

K Talk

2009-10-15T21:19:00.003+08:00

Whenever I get calls from CW's phone and not hear his voice, I'll have to wait a second or two to hear K's... and it's always a lovely surprise to talk to the little one.

"Harlow Yiyi... (pause) how are you... are you, are you..."
"Luv yo-u~..."
"Miss yo-u~..."
"Good knight!"

Awww...

When she says "you", I could almost visualise her pouting lips and her cute face. Sometimes she'll say a bunch of words that I cannot decipher and she says bye bye really fast. That's not so much like chatting but calling just to fulfill her quota for the day.

I have had two out of the few conversations recorded on my Nokia! Love to replay and hear her... just cheers me up anytime.

In the waters

2009-10-13T21:24:00.002+08:00

Back to swimming.
Love the gradual tan.
Happy to be rebuilding stamina, and hopefully toned muscles.
Happier to have my beau for a personal coach.
I don't have to think about a single thing in the blue, I just have to remember to move my limbs and come up for air.
Slightly underwater for some stuff but still surviving and looking forward to 2010.

Chronicles of Sep

2009-09-21T19:06:00.017+08:00

This is just to account for what I've done in the month for the lack of blogging... Besides the exciting stuff I do with these people in my life, I am quite usually bored besides running my own business, and studying so that I can serve better. Life goes on even though sometimes it's depressing.

3: Celebrate Kayla
9: Coca steamboat treat
13-15: Sentosa with HIM
17: K Therapy
18: The Queen & Mangosteen
19: 'The Dead Sea Scrolls and the Ancient World' Exhibition
20: Harvest of gifts & K drew me a FISH!

I wish the above is an infinite loop so I play more than I work or brood... In between I insert failed attempts to give myself a tan and lose weight. I suppose it gets even harder post the big three.

My favorite cheerleader

2009-06-28T11:36:00.005+08:00

K gave her YiYi Jan hugs and kisses today! Here, look at how sweet she is and her pretty set of teeth (; She's actually warmer towards my mobile phone than me ;\

Very much in need of that today and especially when the week's been tough... I am grateful for and encouraged by God and friends who are there for me, especially my new found friend. So brand new week, here I come! I was reminded to be a brave heart.

Can somebody stop the clock please?

2009-06-17T20:45:00.007+08:00

Today's only Wednesday and I am exhausted, swimming in mixed feelings and fats... Ugh. See me for the evidence of my stress...

Doc Jan's temporary self-prescribed note:
1. Stop looking into the mirror
2. More H20 even though you are drinking at least two litres a day
3. Sleep... more!

Jan is long over

2009-06-11T09:57:00.003+08:00

The time of the year has come and gone again to review and refresh. Like the specific messages that God puts in our hearts from time to time, we must not forget the takeaways when we step foot back into reality.

I have not forgotten my purpose here, nor have I forgotten why I am called. With discontentment filling, or maybe drowning my heart, I know I must plow through and breakthrough... before I lose focus again. I want to emerge stronger. His power and grace be with me!

Bumper

2009-05-29T21:44:00.006+08:00

In the midst of losing my balance in one lucky moment, I accidentally knocked my head against an advertisement board in T Mall. Loud bang, real hard, mega ouch. Piece of sh*t. Immediately this huge bump rose on my right forehead next to my Harry Potter alike scar and slightly grazed.

I told my dad about it and he said he will have someone remove the board. Haha.

Thankfully the size of the bump is significantly reduced and I am not experiencing nausea, migraine or fainting spells... short of occasional dull headache, and so I guess I do not need to scan for concussion. Test my quotients, reflexes or memory, someone?

What goes in... and out

2009-05-26T12:17:00.006+08:00

I realize after I hit the big three, some things have changed and they aren't really intentional.

Within my circle of influence, I am the so-called pharmacist for head, nose, throat, stomach-related symptoms because I self-medicate, and because I hate seeing doctors except for that sheet of paper they sign on when I badly need it.

After getting acquainted with my new gal friend V, I now pill pop even more. Seven is the numero.

For the lack of nutrients in my diet especially if I eat out more than I stay home for mom's cooking, supplements is the way to go for a maturing, aging, health freak, whatever you would like to call me. But little do I know that "heatiness" (Chinese calls it) created by the supplements in my body accounts for my easy irritability, higher body temperature for the past two months, and the erratic climate makes it worse!

Good and bad cholesterol run high in my system and so I have to reduce my intake of my typical favorites like prawns, chicken rice, cheesecake. Ugh! Having said that, I am also known to be the one taking "rabbit food" (raw carrots, celery, capsicum, lettuce) and being a water freak - I drink a minimal of two daily liters of H20 and I get cursed at when I nag at people to do the same. Oh, and I drink lotsa milk too.

Idea for breakfast: Mix raw rolled oats and Anlene milk powder together... That's probably a way I could get my mom to increase her intake of calcium, fiber with a whole load of goodness. How cool's that? For variety, you can keep the high sodium content cornflakes or opt for bran that is lower in Glycemic Index (GI).

Next step: I have to convince myself and decide what kind of exercise I should be regularly embark on. I am a yoga backslider but my love for it has never died. Short of attending regular classes, I still pull and stretch whenever my body is idle for strength and posture. Alright, I know yoga ain't really consider exercise... Hmmmm, maybe I should just start brisk walking for now?

Bake to de-stress

2009-05-14T22:56:00.010+08:00

Today's total production (using the new oven TY and I recently bought for mom): over four dozens of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and walnut chocolate chip cookies, eight huge blueberry muffins and an eight-inch quick bread. Not from scratch, certainly. Call me a phony baker - I am no Martha Stewart or Ms K K Tan - but I seriously don't mind spending a bit more money and a little less time on a nice-to-taste and easy-to-make fix.

Eons ago when I saw the need to feed my fellow ushers, I bought Betty Crocker's ready mixes to bake for various occasions. Subsequent years later I still do the same, just for different people in my life...

I figured it is because I could use some simple efforts (in shopping the simple ingredients and putting them together), put in some sunshine (while thinking of the faces that are going to enjoy them), literally see my product grow into edible form (in the oven), and watch people I love eat them. Plus the cleaning up and washing, I probably flushed some of my negative energy down the sink.

I could SEE the benefits. I needed that! The business that I do takes a long time to harvest. Guess I am feeling slightly discouraged from that for the moment... It is no wonder I can bake to de-stress.

Yet I am glad I baked today because people I love are hungry for what I made.

Simple bliss II

2009-05-03T23:25:00.004+08:00

True friends are indeed hard to come by. People ask how I got to know this gang, I can only say he's or she's a friend's friend; a combination of new and old friends... The key is, we get along well, spend a lot of time together, and it's just affinity that we cross one another's paths just some recent months ago.

We really care for one another, went through a wee bit of tough times so far and a good deal of positive things came out of it... Coupled with lotsa fun and laughter, we share books, share learning experiences, poke one another, better one another, walk through and overcome our individual fears together...

It sounds like we are back to school days but I honestly don't remember enjoying myself this much and connecting this much when I was younger. We are truly happy being blessings to one another in this season of our lives, and hopefully this season will be as long as it can be.

Becoming more like a friend to TY and my parents is a happy step too... (;

All that said, I have not forgotten my good old friends and sisters who are ever patient and accepting of me especially during stressful times like now. You know who you are and remember that Jan loves you still and too.

Afterall, friends are relatives you make for yourself!

Simple bliss I

2009-05-03T22:11:00.006+08:00

It's a pure joy to watch her... make some noise, play, do her new little "spin spin" dance, sway around, giggle, flip her dress, infamously suck her left thumb...

Whenever she says something close to the sound of "Yi", I'll take any opportunity to affirm her and say, "喔, 乖..." *grins* Doses of her are always be in drips and drapes from Sunday to Sunday, but ever sufficient to make me miss her even more and beam whenever I think of her.

Sun, sand and sea, and ouch!

2009-04-29T23:22:00.005+08:00

It was simply exhilarating to plan a trip to the East Coast Park with LY today to get away from her work stress. Just by being there feels great and sending MMS to peeps who can't be there makes me the evil one! ;P

Over the years I have not been cycling and developed a phobia because of a bad accident I got into at the park. I have no idea how I summoned the confidence and energy sufficient for me to try it again... but it's now or never! Honestly, there were turns and slopes that were quite unnerving... but I must say cycling to Bedok Jetty and to the far end near the airport, and back to MacDonald's is quite a feat for me!

It's just a luxury to be lying on the ground under the shade and listening to the crashing waves... Close your eyes and be quiet... Walking on the sand, standing on the rocks and be so close to the sun... Don't you just envy my freedom.

As you know, Jan doesn't exercise and needless to say, muscles ache like crazy and I had to use some pain relieving analgesic. At least now I feel my limbs are still mine after some rest. And because I didn't apply sunblock well and enough, I'm somewhat burnt on my tanktop line, front and back!

Yet, I'm thankful for His grace... It's an awfully gorgeous day out and I regret not!

天冷就回来

2009-04-22T09:39:00.009+08:00

It's been awhile since I've watched theatre. Oddly enough, it was Sharon Au who sparked me initial interest in local productions and thereafter I opened my eyes to a whole new world through Forbidden Broadway, Forbidden Hollywood, Forbidden City, Miss Saigon, Singing in the Rain, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang... and tonight, 天冷就回来 If There're Seasons...

I always have good company from friends but for family, this is a first. Besides supporting Sing Chew and the local talents, a strong reason for me to be there is TY being part of the creative team and for mom to see her very first stage production. It's a birthday gift from me to her.

Awesome efforts I must say!

Matters of the heart

2009-04-21T10:49:00.008+08:00

It started just before Good Friday. It has been rather eventful the past two weeks and most of me am flat out in every aspect.

A galfriend's dad passed away... on her birthday. Enough said. I'm not rested and neither did I spend time on my business. The entire time being there for her reminds me of my late granny and Coffee...

Plus I'm having relationship woes - one that's desirable and another the totally reverse. With bliss on one hand, there's always a price to pay on the other. Ugh. Yet it is still up to me to accept it as a positive experience because it just further affirms what I want, what I love and what really matters to me.

These probably explains the insomnia I had for a few days and I had to deal with it using sleeping pills, just for two nights. As for the more-than-a-week-long gastric, I just managed to feel better yesterday because of my stubbornness. It's all in all energy sapping. I lost 2 kilos in a twinkle of an eye and I am having trouble holding some clothes up.

Being back in church helps, spending time with friends and K helps... And to you, you and you, thanks for being there for me.

Scrapaholicious

2009-04-09T10:44:00.007+08:00

I am full of remorse.

I walked into MadeWithLove and almost did not make it out... I was awed and spent. Gosh, I did online research and discovered more resources and online stores. Doomed. Scrapaholic Anonymous, please? "I don't need it, my wallet is closed..."

Yet I just can't help expressing my love for simple lines, polka dots, shapes, type, earth colors, monochromatic stuff... by way of possessing and utilizing them.

Unknowingly I have been building my private stash for a very long time - all sorts of papers, wrappers, tags, cards, ribbons, glitter, stickers, any form of print or material that will embellish a plain message and gift. I just keep and keep, and tell myself that yes, I will get down to making cards, but I am sure you gather I never did.

Jan's a hoarder, says Ivory, and true enough I am guilty of it, but that says I am an environmentalist too... Remember? Reduce, reuse, recycle. That's one of the wonders of scrap booking!

I highly suspect that I will be making more cards than albums and hopefully that will help me save a fair bit... ?! My first is completed and I am hooked!

The only and only K

2009-04-05T13:19:00.010+08:00

The photos and updates at CW and Jing's blogs serve as great updates for me as I only see them once in a purple moon. So... I was really happy to see the trio yesterday! Short of taking photos together, I had to snitch one of my favorites from them...

Indeed it's been months and I was telling the couple that K looks bigger in the photos and I have lost the ability to buy the accurate dress sizes for her... but anyhow, buying bigger is better so that the petite one can grow into them.

K took lesser time than usual to warm up to me... It was fun to watch her talk, say 'thank you' in her own way, play and like what J say, zip around. Though time was short, I am blissfully pleased!

More on K here (;

Domestic tourist

2009-04-04T14:49:00.008+08:00

You don't really need to be traveling overseas to have optimal fun. In a span of two days, I visited Bishan Prawn Fishing near the Golf Driving Range and the Night Safari.

I wasn't the one prawn-fishing; I was there to just relax with a book. I ended up reading and shared bit-size points with two friends on the law of attraction, and observe how they fish, and lending a hand when a harvested prawn start to get defensive with its relatively huge pincers. That's multi-tasker Jan for you.

There are restaurants, BBQ pits if you want to consume your catch fresh, and services for fish spa and foot reflexology. Quite a good place to relax at!

My first visit to the Night Safari was in 1994 during its initial month of opening. I remember nothing much about it except the fun I had with my Career Awareness Team (CAT) in school then. It wasn't exceptional memorable also because 15 years have passed... So here I come again!

We trailed instead of trammed as it was more economical and less restrictive. The safari is paved with limited lights so adjusting in the dark rain forest environment could be a task but the good company made it easy. Oh, and we played "Spot the Animal" game because some of them camouflage really well! Though a tad too warm for my liking, it was all in all a thumbs up experience.

The Creatures of the Night Show is nice though it can prove to be worth my wait if the owl is showcased. A good five minutes was spent on talking about the "No Flash" rule and the other what nots. The "No Flash" rule applies to the entire safari enclosure to avoid unnecessary surprises and damage to the residents' eyesight.

Do pay the nocturnal folks a visit soon and start exploring what other local places of interest have to offer! Next spot: Consider the museums...

Back to the books

2009-04-02T22:46:00.010+08:00

I am back to the habit of reading... It helps to be able to manage my reading list and share reviews via Visual Bookshelf among like-minded book lovers.

The subjects that I would like to explore seem to be never ending. I'll probably only pick up books from the store only if the titles are exceptionally good or if time does not permit that I borrow them. That's probably why I keep buying and end up reading very little of the stash I have on the shelves. So yes, I have to curb that habit. Borrow more, buy less.

Time alone at the library is refreshing because you would head for the section that interests you the most... You may find surprises and ideas that will inspire solutions and maybe spur you to learn and to try out something new!

I'm loving it!

2009-03-31T15:03:00.002+08:00

Like the fresh blog layout and my latest perm? (; Every two years, I like a change... Before I run out of new blog addresses, I will dump all my posts at one location but for now, get used to coming here to read me.

It's about time to shed the aura of depression and melancholy clouding my brain cells and blood cells the past years... 2009 is and will be a year of a different energy and I am grateful for the people who are instilling fresh vibes, ideas, lessons, purpose, love and laughter into my life.